I challenged a doctors diagnosis back in April based on my research. I was certain the doctor was wrong. He said something about the reliability of information found online.
You have to be careful what you read online, he said.
He told me people come in all the time citing something they read online. In the same way you might hear your customers talking about what they read online. He told me, “I’ve been doing this for 37 years.” I thought to myself, that sounds familiar.
Later, on the second visit, the doctor surprisingly changed his mind. He asked, “How were you sure about the diagnosis?” I sensed he was puzzled by my findings. I downplayed it by saying, I know how to decipher data. In this case, I had to decipher bad medical advice from good medical advice in the same way I parse any information.
It came down to being able to identify inconsistencies within the information. It can be spoken words, written words, photos, etc. The analysis works at a level of deductive logic by asking, “is this even possible?” This sort of thing happens all the time, nearly every day, in all aspects of life. My choice is one of two things, 1) speak up when something is wrong or 2) say nothing and allow the “told you so” to occur on its own without saying it.
You could beat the doctor by replacing him with an equation created by people who knew nothing about medicine and had simply asked a few questions of doctors. — The Undoing Project
Typically I go with the second option, but this was a health issue. My motive lies squarely on the prevention of something. In this case, I was trying to prevent a second visit to the doctor because “efficiency.” Part of the process I go through analyzing something is to prevent something from occurring, or existing, or the need to exist. My second doctors visit didn’t need to occur.
We all know someone who consistently goes through the same problems over and over. It could be jobs or relationships, some people go through relationships like painters go through painters pants.
We try to help these repeat offenders by making suggestions when they come to us with a series of why statements wondering what they are doing wrong. And while we know they can hear us talking, they fail to take the necessary actions to change, and you guessed it, they make the same mistakes all over again. These individuals have no control over their lives. None.
People like that think they have life figured out, and their lies the problem. In order to correct a problem, we need to first recognize the problem. We are historically bad at identifying our own problems. This is why repeat offenders fail. They fail to take the time to identify the problem and to make necessary changes to correct it.
Those who have not identified their mistakes of the past and destined to repeat them.
As for the bystanders, the helpers, the ones who often know others better than they know themselves, there is only so much we can do to help them aside from grabbing them by the neck and showing them whats best for them, and they still resist change.
Trust in others close to you to help you identify the problem and listen to what they tell you. Pay close attention. You are not going to want to hear that what you’ve been doing your whole life is wrong, trust me, you will resist. The key to fixing the problem is “undoing” whatever is causing the problem. The solution will always require change.
For every time someone dismisses valid negative criticism in favor of wishful thinking, there is an incident like this one to remind us of reality. Let’s remember that and think smarter.
Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.
— Proverbs 8:33
Watch The Flying Tailor jump off the Eiffel Tower in 1912
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On the topic of Fixed or Growth mindsets, it would be interesting to discuss a few arguments, topics, tasks, strategies or product ideas and explore ‘what-if’ scenarios depending on our choices (how we process information before we open our mouth or make a decision). Then compare the outcomes.
We can talk a lot about a fixed-mindset because it can be witnessed so readily in every day life. People with a fixed-mindset are often stuck in their comfort zone. They are literally stuck because they ignore all of the things (feedback) that could push them forward either because they were told to or their fixed-mindset automatically rejects anything negative. We can learn how to move away from a fixed-mindset into a growth-mindset by expanding our comfort zone.
A fixed-mindset doesn’t easily allow you to change course.
— Carol Dweck Ph.D.
As long as we are trying something new, we’re learning, we’re growing. What we do for a living is much less important than how we do it, but results take effort. We don’t just wish success into existence. The first step is becoming aware of how we process information. We need to recognize when we’re closing the door on opportunities.
I have a lot on my plate at the moment, but once the smoke clears, this is something I would definitely like to explore later (maybe in a podcast). We could talk about some very practical day-to-day choices.
I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don’t know the other side’s argument better than they do.
— Charlie Munger
A fixed-mindset ignores useful negative feedback (intelligence is static) while a growth-mindset learns from criticism (intelligence can be developed). This might explain why some companies are static, unchanging, archaic, complacent, lack problem solving and true innovation.
These are fundamental differences in how the two mindsets process information where the former is unaware of the benefits of the latter.
If we are willing to dish-out opinions, we ought to be prepared to listen to facts. The moment we refuse to hear facts is the moment we refuse to learn something against our beliefs.
Exposure to true information does not matter any more. A person who is demoralized is unable to assess true information. The facts tell nothing to him. Even if I shower him with information, with authentic proof, with documents, with pictures, even if I take him by force […] he will refuse to believe it.
— Yuri Bezmenov
Yuri’s job was deception. If you find yourself in a position refusing to accept the evidence people provide, that might be a warning sign you are deceiving yourself.
Performance criticism is studying something to death, then being able to decipher the data and know how it relates to the equation. You’ll overlook a lot of wisdom and insight if you confuse sincere advice with criticism. Unfortunately, people often confuse the two.